Pyonji.... (Letter)

Darling....

Come to think of it 11 months is a short time, but the past 11 months will forever be etched in my memory as it has been filled with all kinds of emotions I've never experienced. It was never perfect but it was as close to perfection as a circle is round.
I have always been someone you can lean on, and for these times I hope I've been someone you can really rely on.
There were times that put tears in your eyes, but I hope it was the smiles that outnumber the tears.

I wish I could have given reasons that doesn't sound like excuses but all I have to say is already said, thinking about it and making more out of it will really be an excuse.
What "is" is now "was", does not mean what will be is certain, what may not might not be never.
There is plenty I wish I could have done better, there is plenty I should have done better...but for you, I really have put in my all.

You might hate me one day, but I still hope it is a smile that comes to you face instead of a frown.
I don't know why it is or why it has to be, but right now what is best for you is not to wait, as what is best for me is to walk.
If I can't give you my all then I don't want to give you anything.
If you are just getting 3 quarters of me, and I get all of you, I'd rather not have you because that isn't my all....
If brushing my teeth comes to mind the first thing I wake up and you second, it is as if I have cheated on you.
If it is going to sadden you throughout that period, I'd rather make you cry now and see you laugh later on.

You might say it is wrong the way I love, but it is me a part of me that i cannot change.
If there is one more chance to turn back time, I would have chose not to be with you so I don't have to see you in such pain now.
It is my fault that things turn out like that, I wish I could give a little more but I have given my all, or maybe it is just I that have been the lesser one. Maybe I have overestimated my own capacity, maybe it is I who is weak.


Farewell is inevitable, but what lies ahead is something we have to search for....
and I hope whatever lies ahead treats you well, i hope life treats you kind.
While you put this into your past I hope the future brings you happiness in a bunch....compared to the little joy i brought to your life in this short period of time...

PS : Thanks for everything...