Happy Mothers Day!!!

This is the only picture i found in my laptop that shows how happy and beautiful my mom is when she smiles. She never smile for the camera! So i had to take this candid shot. My dad's a lucky guy. lol!Happy Mom's Day! We love you ==)Mom and me before we did our hair. ==p

*hugs*

even though i've changed, i know who my real friends are when they stay by my side before and after the me back then and the me right now,
regardless of what i do, who i am, what i am, who i hang out with, where i go and all, giving me the company and support at times when i needed them most.

dedicating these words to all the people by my side.
im not giving names, if you know you've been hanging out with me alot lately,
you know who you are. and i love you guys...

the journey up the hill

life is about improvements.
they say "i complain that i have no shoes, until i see someone with no feet"
moral of the story? to be grateful for what you have.
positive thoughts positive thoughts positive thoughts.
look at what i have and not what i dont have!
and be grateful for having a few pairs of shoes plus feet than i can walk and jump around.

i am grateful. i really am.
grateful that im alive when jo ann has been telling me so many people died in limkokwing.
grateful that i once had such a great time when others doesnt even experiece things like this befre.
grateful i have food water and shelter.
grateful that i hav such loving and cool parents.
grateful that i have stick skinny figure when others get bulimia and anorexia trying to slim down when they actually wanna be skinnier than me.
grateful that even if i hav to wear thick glasses, at least im not blind.
grateful for having so many friends around me giving me support and company that mean so much to me.
grateful for alot alot of things.

but somehow, a part in me says a slightly different story.

if a guy is born without legs. and gotten a leg implant donated to him or something when he's 20.he got a new leg.
on the other hand, another guy got involved in an accident and lost a leg at age 20 too. he got 1 leg left on him.

both have 1 leg. who would you rather be?

the one who should be happy and grateful that at least he get to walk and jump for the first 20 years of his life? instead of mourning on how to survive the rest of his life with only 1 leg left.
or the one that should be happy and grateful to receive a new leg? instead of mourning on how unfair god is to him when everybody is born with legs except him.

for me i'd rather be the one born without legs and gained a leg instead of losing one. cause life is about improvements. sometimes you cant control the future. you cant control what is going to happen next. but the least you can do is to control your own life. cause its your life, you live it your way.

i am my own competition. if i am capable of getting myself a new car, and its a myvi. i dont care if i live in a world where everybody else around me drives a Mercedes or a BMW. what i know is, the next car that i'm going to get is not a kancil. it need not be a BMW, but it will be something better than a myvi.
or should i look at poeple with motocycles and be grateful for having te chance to own a car at all?

its not about being better than the people around me. its about being better than who i was back then.

sooooooooooo many people around me said i've changed. close friends i had since secondary. im not the me back then compared to the me right now. i do hope i've changed for the better, being a better person than the trash i was back then. somehow i realized i've gotten weaker.

i dont mind if i get a C for my grades. cause i wont feel the least grateful at all that i did not fail. with that i will always be stuck with a C grade feeling happy everyday cause i did not fail. no improvements at all. i am my own competition and i wont bother competing myself with the others. i will make sure the next grade i get would be better than a C. either remain a C, or getting a C+ is an improvement. and make sure i get a B and an A in time.

i dont care if my girlfriends get rich ass boyfriends that showers them with handphones, cars , prada and expensive food every meal.
i dont care if they have some guy who treats them like princesses.
i dont care if i dont earn alot of money compared to the people around me.
i dont care if im born with high cholesterol when everybody around me gets to eat everything they want, anything they want at their own will. (tho my hormones makes me depress at times)
i dont care if they have a great job and a great life.
i dont care if this friend gets really famous on tv and advertisements.
i dont care if the people around me are born with the perfect figure, pretty face, great personality likable to every bug around them. i wanna look back to a picture of me 4 years ago and say to myself, wow i've gotten so much prettier compared to the me back then, dark, skinny with short hair and braces.
i dont care even if some friend has better fashion sense than i do.

cause if i keep comparing, it will never end. how could anybody be happy? that includes comparing myself with the people worse than me. not that i dont care if a girlfriend lost her dad. i will help her in many ways that i can to improve her life in other ways, like giving her company, going to the movies with her, a place where she use to go with her dad, or something like that. but i wont be comparing.
the only thing that i'll be comparing, is to compare me to myself. all i care is improvements on myself and my life. i want to move further up a notch to who i am, what i am and where i am right now.

i dont mind not being the 100% as long as the percentage is the same or slightly higher, than the percentage the day before. and i will not allow myself to fall down the hill. i'll either remain on that spot till i regain my strenght and continue my journey up. a journey up the hill where the tip is where i rest in peace, knowing that i have became a better person than the person i was the day before.

a written scroll

she could have seen it coming, when they named themselves romeo and juliet,
it was her knight, saving her from sorrow.
finally she thought she could live happily ever after,
romeo and juliet never did, they died to live forever.

what went wrong she wondered?
flashes of his words came into her mind.
he said, wait for me, dont leave me...
she said, i'll wait for you no matter what happens.
she forgot to ask him to not leave her when he did.

the months were short, it was less than half a year. just a mere few months, it was too short, she kisses her hp everytime before pressing the send button, wishing somehow he receives the kiss she sent along with her smses.

she had all the time to plan adventures. but no time to explore them.
they still could, but whats the point when it takes off half part of the plan?
its too short she says, way too short together.
if life is so short, what if they'll never survive pass tomorrow?
what if she'll die regreting not going on a roller coaster with him?
cause obviously she's not regretting for being on long distance for him.
however she might regret, not being with him earlier.
cause the time is too short, she lives for today and not think about tomorrow.
what went wrong?

nothing in the world is perfect but juliet sees perfection differently.
it was the feeling she felt, having him close to her.
her definition of perfection isnt the gifts he gave, it says the way their topics clicked in neverending wave.

it says how their hands fit, the way it communicates without words. how a simple hand to hold says so much more than it.
sometimes it tells her "i love u so much". sometimes it tells her "i wanna hold your hand till every single one of my hair turns grey". sometimes when he moves his thumb a lil it means "hey, is everything okay?" sometimes when his fingers twitch, it says "what a happy day this is". sometimes when his fingers tickles her palm it tells her he has a smile on his face. a squeeze on the hand sometimes means "don worry, everything will be okay" and it gives so much support. now the only thing she fears, is that she wont get to hold that hand anymore.

her definition of perfection shows when he does funny faces to the baby girl on the next table at dinner. it reminds her of what she did yesterday at the mall, to the baby in the stroller.

her definition of perfection says how she's always cold. how he's always warm, it warms her from head to toe.
her difinition of perfection says how they always say the same things at the same second after finishing up each other's sentences.
her definition of perfection says how she hates it when he knows she's up to something.
her definition of perfection shows when a simple hug from him made every problem in the world alot less harder to manage.
and how she blushes at times though she hates to admit it.
her definition of perfection says how her heart cant beat any slower when he has his hands around her waist. that tickle in her heart, no magic can erase.
her definition of perfection says the random smses and *pops*, that made her smile when her day is coloured in grey.

she wants her own career but...
to her nothing is more important than her own family. the same goes to her future family.
she doesnt mind if she doesnt earn alot. as long as she knows she has her family's support.
maybe she's a girl, its ok to have that thought. maybe if she's a guy, she'd put career and others further up the spot.
it is what he did, or at least he said he's doing. perhaps a better wife is what he needs in his future.

she understands it all, its just her own heart now.
the ocasional thoughts is what breaks her mental support.

it was great, she didnt want anything better. she did her best, she didnt want them to suffer.

she can never hate him, cause her love was too strong. however she wished she did, at least she could fall asleep on pillows that are dry...

she already had his all, simply by knowing where his heart lies.
to brush his teeth first thing in the morning, made her feel she'll wake up with a minty surprise.

its for her to decide, what exactly is his all. maybe if she did much more, he'll know he had her all.

she might cry now and smile later, but she knows it'll always be a smile. cause nobody can make her laugh, except her baby bear.
all the 20 years she smiled, finally the laugh was there.
the laughther turned to tears in a zap, there was no in between...

if turning back time leave me still with my sorrow, i guess it'll still be better. at least my heart that was once a 1, is better than now 0. it turned from a 1 to a 9.9 one shot. then it was cut from 9 to 0. all she wants is a rate higher than the original 1. its ok if its not a 9 or 10, she doesnt mind a 2 if its at least better than 1.

running away from problems is what she see actually.
there's nothing she can do, if this is what makes him happier you see.
its what makes his life way more easier.
i guess she's no longer the candy he prefers.

the things he says, the way he thinks, it was so different from the smses she once receive. did he change? he said no. did his heart change? he said no. did his way of showing love change then? i don really think so.
so what changed she wondered? but her mind was too tired.

all along she was waiting for a ship that never came. staring at the oceans with only a thought that says "he'll be back, he said he would". and that thought alone was enough to kept her alive waiting by the ocean shores. the ship never came, she got a note sealed in a bottle. it floated towards her, it says "dont wait, dont bother". it says "my ship is wrecked, to stay afloat it cant carry alot. i took my family, studies, career, health, travels, friends and so much more on board."

life will treat her better, if she lets it be. whatever it is she will never again put in her all, for fear once again she'll fall. to mend her heart, there can only be one way. that one way is not for him to stay for now. that one way happens when her happy ending arrives somehow.
the story can only have 1 prince 1 princess 1 knight, and another plain cottage girl, sewing late till night. i guess its not up to her, who decides who is who....
i dont know what else she can do

p/s: i love u

Goodbye Studeo Grafix... - Part 1

finally im putting up pictures of my final day at studeo grafix. after 2 weeks!

when i reached the first thing i saw was these colorful jellies on my table. i think they are from Miky, and a few others maybe. awww..... i love u guys too...

Shafrin said he wanted to treat me for breakfast. ==')

goodbye library-full-of-books-that-i-never-seem-to-finish-reading-everytime-i-take-them-home...

goodbye copier machine... i spent half a quarter of a day with you...

goodbye flowers on the fence...
farewell my punch card machine...
and the shoe racks too... i'll miss putting my heels in you...

goodbye parking space...
taking a last glance at the place...

ok more pics on the farewell on the next post! ==D

friends and life

ever since i stopped workin at Studeo Grafix, my life is a mess. its totally meaningless! i dont know what i want to do throughout the day, i dont know what my plans are for tomorrow... i want to do something to my life but i just, dont feel like it now.
I DONT FEEL LIKE ANYTHING!

well in life, whatever we do, we have to do it with a purpose. if i wanna buy try on that expensive pair of boots, its ridiculous but yeah i just wanna look hawt in it for a while.

ok lousy example, i think my bloggin skills dropped, not that it was good all along but anyway...
there's this thing in life that i keep doing but i dont see the point of doing but i still am, doing.
you know us at this age, being somewhere around 18 till 23 or more, is the time when you lose the people around you, the ones you care, the ones you love, the ones you cherish.

we were in the same class for so many years in high school. not that we got close results but yeah, we were in the last class of pure science, fail the subjects and yeahhh! we get to be together! we use to make a fool out of ourselves in school, having the time of our lives... hey! thats the time when you get to break rules and ave fun getting away with it isnt it? then after we graduate, we just... lost contact. not that we hate each other, its just that we have different rings of friends. we still hang out now, like, once a year, and yeah you guys are in KL now and all... thats the thing.

then we have the other ring of besties that werent from the same class from the start, at all. maybe just once in form 1 or form 3. we were then never in the same class but we hang out all the time before and after classes, and during recess. we have sleepovers, share clothes and spill juicy updates. then one started college the other too and we see each other... not often. once a year? or maybe twice... then one goes away to further her studies and.. yeah thats the thing.

after that its the ring of college friends, from all over the world, from different backgrounds, different schools, different states or countries, and of course age and position when some are already parents. and now that im no longer in college, we still hang out but, yeah not often.

then you have another ring of friends, those you actually know through friends but u both just dont hang out with the one in the middle anymore. like A knows C through B and A is now really close with C and B just disappeared. awkward but yeah that's my other ring of friends, or friend actually. best of friends, everything clicked. anddddd she went away to study.

then you have those who work and the only time you have left is, really late nights out. short late nights out actually. and im not a night person cause sleep and health is forever my priority...
this ring includes my ex collegues actually. that ring is... hard. hard to book a time and all and eventually we see each other less.

then there's the ring of guys that i use to hang out with, till... and lost contact and... i dunno what the hell happened.

then there's the ring of exes. yeah... use to want to hang out but nop, not anymore.

sometimes i'm just left with the very few friends that i have. sometimes i needed the support from them but sometimes i get frustrated or annoyed i dont know what i should do. i dont stay angry but i just dont feel like it anymore. at times i do think its my own fault if problems arise, sometimes i just think that, if we dont click, we dont click, what to do when it keeps happening over and over again? having all the other rings of friends no where near me made me feel so lonely if i were to lose the very few ones around me. not to lose them but, to take a break or something. friends arent for people to dump or not. but whats the purpose of hanging out together when i know i wont be happy and all... simply cause they are the very few left and i dont wanna be lonely for now?

its rare to find the ones that can make each other feel so comfortable. i have many many different rings of friends. all having different personalities, if i were to throw a party and all are invited, i can gurantee they wont click.

i might be going away to study next year. where ever i go, i'll lose everybody until i come back, or they come back or untill i get new ones. even families and close ones. i might start a new job and god knows how my life would be like when that happens. sometimes, you just needed one person, one that can turn turn your bad day good by just being around. that one person that when you won a trip for 2 to bali, without even blinking you said u wanna go with him/her. one that you feel so comfortable you can share anything and everything. that one person that you could tell him/her...
"i saw this shirt the other day it was so nice but my size was sold out, they hav your size so i figured you could have a look, i know u'll look great in it"
"we had problem, i dont know what to do..."
"orange really doesnt fit you"
"come lets do something crazy like running across the park screaming with our hands in the air"

one that says to you...
"take that scarf off its ugly"
"u cant have that, its really bad for your cholesterol. have this instead. it tastes just as nice"
"i know things are troubling you, wanna stay over at my palce so you'll hav company?"
"nothing can come between us... we'r more than BFFs"

or something like that... i dont know what kind of post is this, some things are troubling me and i dont know what to say... am i being dependent? i really needed company...

be grateful for what i have, or dont have. know no regrets in life. know my goals in life. screw it, i'll just let my life live me instead of me living my life.

Girls are better - thats the title ==)

stay strong girl,
you're not the attention seeking girl you see
you're no weakling you are what you are
you use to be tough, and now you still are
dig it up girl dig it up..
lets not give up its just defeated.
all you need is to gather your own army.
they say to make love, not war, what do you think?

you buy your own shoes damit fight your own fears.
you reach out for your own napkin damit wipe your own tears.
you write your own songs damit sing it yourself.
you earn your own money damit spend it yourself.
you design your own bags damit catwalk your own stage.
cause nobody will write your diary for you, its your own page...

kill it before it kills you,
sacrifices are made only for the best of these 2.
why the hell should the weakling lose
when she build her own shield too.
giddy up girl giddy up now...
run with the wind you're your own horse now.
shake it up girl now shake it up...
dance to the music its all you have now.
make your own swords cause there aint no prince.
slay your own dragon and be your own king.
cause after the dragon you have the midgets,
the goblins the wolves the monsters and things.
you were captured and you cant sit in the cage and cry
while wait for people to save you you might not survive.
why do stories show girls so weak and helpless.
and wait for the knight, when they might not come and help us.
cant they save themselves? its just some freakin cage.
pick the lock (girl) you have manicured long nails.
sneak pass the guards (girl), you tip toe better cause you wear high heels.
knock the guards out (girl), cause you can kick them in the balls.
run through the jungle (girl) cause you can squeeze under the trees that fall.
if he can do it, you can do better.
you're not born with it, so you have to do some extra homework.
get your own grades so you dont need tuition.

you have your own company, you are your own twin
you have your own courage, you're destined to win
you have your own life, you live it your way
you have your own dreams, you fight for it everyday.
you have your own nightmares, fight against it lah
you have your own support, confidence and style.
you're your own you, no one can replace you

cause im stronger!! than yesterday.
and nothing aint gonna stand in my way.
cause im fiercer!! than yesterday.
i'l bite your head of if you're annoying my day.
cause im tougher!! than yesterday.
hit me right in my face and then you'll pay.
cause im more courageous!! than yesterday.
cause i RAWR my way through my journey.
i dont care if people fear me
cause i know deep inside who's that girl in me.

im not that fragile. cause cracks wont break me.
im not that brittle, cause the sides wont snap.
i not that stupid, cause i can do so much better.
im not that naive, cause i've grown up to be greater.

i've been through hell, n im aiming for heaven.
i'll want my own wings and a halo to tell them
i can be my own angel, though its not a guardian one.
i can be my own knight, though its a female one.
i can be my own driver, though its a small car.
i can be my own person, i dont care who you are!!!!!

i wrote a new song ==) they're jumbled up. the long ones are the verse. the short ones are the bridge. the middle lenght ones are the chorus the last one is the ending verse. ==D repeat the chorus yourself. lol...

another day of work

i got home from work today at 9.30+. basically i was just assigned to 1 huge task and one task only.

today the conceptual writing (CW) division, the division that im in, were moving their tables. rearranging the desks and all. since i was seated in the Multimedia division (MM) i didnt hav anything to worry, but to wait for the usual morning briefing. which was suppose to be at 9.30 / 10 every morning, its now at 11.30. so everybody started their day late. including me. that takes the morning few hours off the clock. plus, today is jamie and miky's birthday celebration. we went to the pantry and out to the garden to play a prank on them. it was fun but then again, it another hour off my clock.

i had my lunch at 2 something. after lunch, at 3, May gave me the copy of my article. state the points that needs to amend, and asked me to give it to her at 4.30. at 4, Mclean who was sitting behind me, kept rushing me, as the MM people need to put my article in the web site that they are working on. i did and did and did, and i still cant finish at 4.30 so i asked if i can send her by 5 and she said ok. then i did and did and did again, by the time i send her its already 6. the last msg that i got frm her was "your 1 and a half hours late" =='( =='( =='( and i need to send her for her approval then only i can send Mclean to put it in the website. n Mclean was rushing me still... =='( after the bday celebration it was around 7 something already. i had to do more amendments to my article. May was staying back because she needs to see my article. she's the only person left in CW. everybody went back already. =='( =='( because of me and me 1 person, everybody is waiting for meeeeee =='( and i was just assigned for 1 task only. to write 1 small article and it took me the whole day. its not because Studeo Grafix tortured me and gave me alot of work just so i go home late everyday. they just gave me 1 task. 1 task and i couldnt even get it done in time. going home early is very important for me. and immaking people wait, and people are going home late because of me. =='( =='( =='(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday Jay asked me : do you know any business magazines?
i said : nope... y?
jay: nvm
me: need help on something?
jay: can u tell me what business magazines do people read to upgrade their marketing skills?
me *went on google and typed, business magazine list* none of them are familiar at all to me. so i said : im not sure ler... the Star Bizweek? does Forbes magazine count? *simply picking up a name from the google site*
jay: Think! what magazines do people read if they wanna know more about business and marketing?
but the problem is... i dont even know a single business magazine name! how to give her the name of a magazine that people read????? i mean, if u dont like sports or something, how would u know even, of the name of one single sports magazine?
.
.
.
sighh... izit me or izit my lack-of-general-common-knowledge or im just plain stupid?


May is nice when she say "don wry, i started off just like you" well it made me feel better but it doesnt make me feel good. im not comparing myself with her when she first came here. im comparing myself with who she is right now. she's been in Studeo Grafix for 3 yrs now. not that imma wannabe or something but, when everybody around you is good and your a rotten apple in the basket you tend to either wanna polish and de-rotten-fy yourself, or throw yourself out frm the baskat rather than to stay in the basket. i mean, who's thick faced enough to do that?

maybe its stress. maybe its pms. maybe it me. i have nothing to say or to complain.

it all happened on a wednesday

it all happened on a wednesday
the day 2 hearts are free to fly
free to roam the worlds of each other
worlds so different and yet hearts unite.
the ying and the yang, as what they call it
the only thing it takes is to realize.

it all happened on a wednesday
the day the drugs took effects on me
it was sour and sore and messy and sweet
somehow you're stuck between everything
all you want then, is a shoulder who speaks.
a hand to hold, a body to hug, a life to live, a sin it is.
the sin turned out to be the solution after all
now its no longer a sin, this drug that im taking
just the feeling the addictiveness stays the same.

it all happened on a wednesday
the quill inks down the chapters
a magical quill on everlasting scrolls
and ink that never fades

it all happened on a wednesday
it came so fast u had to go
exactly 7 weeks i still remember
but all i can think of is why not a day later?
it was foolish of me to think it was peasy
until it strikes the war of emotions
the mind, the heart, the body, the soul
missing, aching, tired and cold
there was nothing i can do,
who asked me to fall so hard for you.

it all happened on a wednesday
exactly 20 weeks away from me
20 weeks of no hands to hold
20 weeks of no hugs to hold
20 weeks of no warm laughters
20 weeks of no pockets to hide my fingers when they're cold

it all happened on a wednesday
when the 20 weeks of torture ends
it was the best gift i've ever got,
a person to spend my world with
a treat for a month, 32 days to be exact
it ended in just a zap

it all happened on a wednesday
it felt just like february the 13th
the day i start to count
all i wanna say is, to thank a special person
to split my torture into two
the second half will just be 17 weeks,
i believe it'll be faster than the first
thanks for everything, the love u gave
thanks for the treat, i had the best birthday in my life
thanks for being with me till the end
thanks for the trips, the places we go
thanks for the warmth, everytime im cold
thanks for being there, it means so much to me
thanks for the box of colourful candies
thanks for walking down the road with me
thanks for sharing a life with me
thanks for the happiness you gave me
thanks for giving me a thing to treasure
thanks for everything. i love u my dear.

16 or 17 weeks left to count
should be easier compared to the first half
3 4 weeks less means a lot
until the day, i choose to be strong
as i wait for more wednesdays to come

wat can u do without your girlfriends ==)

i just dont feel like studyin so i'll just blog more. ==D
wonder y u just have the blogging mood on when you're suppose to be studyin. haha...


so wat do i do when cubby's not around?

sit in fitting rooms for an hour just cause it feels nice to do so

and take pictures of yourself just to fill up the memory card

try on expensive dresses you drool over cause you can only feel it on you for 5 mins in the fitting room

go out with girlfriends and update ourselves on each other's life

try on dresses

and exchange it to see which color matches u more...
i think i look better in white. i dont know haha...

and... spend everynight msn-ing n skyping to the one u love n misses the most.
i miss my cubby. stil counting down to 57 seconds
***
i've been lying down, sleeping or sitting in front of my laptop for hours these days. almost everyday. i take a nap after lunch. sit in front of my laptop for 3 4 hrs afta dinner. not good for my stomach. if the food couldnt digest my gastric comes back. and yet i dont hav anything else to do other than to sit in front of my laptop or to sleep. i feel sleepy everyday!
i need to exercise. =.= even if i study i'll be sitting or lying down anyway.

currently: watching free movies on www.watch-movies.net (the hottie and the nottie)

the movie is ok lo... not bad but not that good either.
paris hilton likes to act as as the same type of girl everytime in movies lo...
like the hottest girl or some girl that every guy wants to be with. loves sex n attention. guys drool over her n treat her like a goddess or some princess. im speechless

switching roles...

dad and i switched roles for a day. all of a sudden everything felt different.. it use to be dad droppin me off to school to college.
dad went for some seminar thing. compulsory for all the people working in the company. he thinks its a waste of time, complains that its boring and all. the usual thing that i do afta long hours of lecture and i do complain in the car sometimes. lol...
the seminar thing was in another branch office, totally no parking over there, so i'll fetch him instead.
when dad got down from the car, his hp dropped out from his pocket, i yelled after him n said "dad u forgot ur hp!" the usual thing he does for me. sometimes i leave my hp on the seat and forgot about it. guess it runs in the genes. haha!
on the way home, i had this urge to ask him, "how was it", in a smiling now-u-know-classes-n-seminars-are-boring-so-dont-make-me-go-to-seminars kind of way. somehow i wanted to know ==p like how he wanted to know everytime he fetch me he says "how was school today". same goes to "what did u have for lunch" and all, naturally i wanted to ask. guess this is how my dad feels like everytime he fetches me. lol...
other things is that i try to be on time, or like 5 mins early. so he wont have to wait. dad is punctual. very punctual. and i was brought up to hate being not punctual. lol.. i always find him in front of my college foyer right after my class ended. thats why i wanted him to find me waiting for him too.
instead of raising closets, being a parent is not that bad. i could nag. lol... i love my dad ==D mom too of course haha. and... yeah i felt different. i think families should switch roles in different ways more often just to have that 'different' feeling. i have the coolest dad on earth ==D