==S

I have this feeling somewhere inside of me, bugging me for days.
Located right above my stomach, somewhere between my stomach, n chest.
A sorey, soury, feeling that makes me sad n emotional when I try to focus all my senses on it, to discover what is the feeling actually.
Then I'll start staring blankly at something for hours.
And it makes me feel like throwing up when I see food.
It makes me wonder if Im sick.
How do I make it go away?

I've got no inspirations whatsoever to blog. I've had this great topic I'd like to blog about, this morning. But that was this morning. Maybe its not so great but, at least a better one than this.

Scar on my knee.

The final flake of dried skin has finally shed, or rather 'peeled'. Leaving behind this long scar.
Knee is still swollen, numb patch still there. I can walk very normally now. occasionally i get to skip a bit, wriggle a bit. I still cant dance, i still cant jump. ==(

Pics...
With flash.

Without flash.
note: there are still peel-able skin around it if you notice ==D


Anyway earth hour day is tomorrow. *verbally jumps around* eeeek! im so excited! you know everybody has been talking about it lately. ==D and everybody is taking this chance to go out, treating it as a celebration actually. hanging out, buying party strings and all. kinda weird but me like it. ==D as long as its to support to earth ==D but kinda lame cause its just to switch off your lights and cherish the few minutes. hmm... anyways, remember t switch off your lights tomorrow!

im super sleepy right now. good night, whoever's reading this now. *yawn x8*

stars...

I was at the beach last night till 4 in the morning.
The sky was so so beautiful, all i see was pitch black darkness and a blanket of thousands and thousands of stars twinkling above my head. Not much clouds. Everything was so clear.
Sea breeze through my hair... and that cleared my mind too.
It was quiet. The sound of the waves never fail to calm me.
Then there were these shooting stars, I saw it twice, two of it maybe, by myself. It was shooting really fast but it was short. If i were to put my fingers to the sky, I saw the star and its tail, 1 cm long from my view, for just 1 second.
What if the star lived for just 1 second? Cant it be given a longer life? somehow deep down i mumbled the reasons, it was just so i get to see it for a few seconds more... I didnt want it to go. 1 second was better than no seconds. But 1 second isnt enough still.

stars... they are my only companions at night.
my inspiration... they are the only things that never stop shinning in the dark.

*plays... rule the world by take that*

I use to sit there...

i miss us so much.........

lenka - the show

Im just a lil' bit caught in the middle!
life is a maze and love is a riddle ==)

Cant get this song outta my head. ==) ==)

New or upcoming korean music

This is well as you can see Subin's 1st digital single, it only has 3 songs in it but it's all nice....(youtube : 사랑은 봄처럼 )


8eight who got their name from the infinity sign (turn the"8" side ways and you get the sign) has lots of nice songs in their latest album as well....(youtube : Without a heart by 8eight)


I don't know what her name is but well the album is called memory, she sings ballads and has a good voice...up and coming artist...keep a look out for her....(youtube : Paradise by memory)


There's Lena Park too with quite a decent amount of good songs in her album, unfortunately I don't have her album photo....


Last but not least....YOONA!!!

Pretty ain't she...some might recognise her from SNSD (otherwise Girl's Generation) and some might have seen her before in "you are my destiny" which was aired on KBS (for people who have Astro)
SNSD's songs are ok....but i like "Gee" one of their latest single...hahaha

PS: actually just wanted to post her pic...lol....just youtube their songs if you are interested

scratch

I NEED TO SCRATCH MY SCAR!!!!

its driving me nuts wei.... ish!

Anyways, I miss my jeans so much! its been 3 weeks. almost, I need long jeans/pants. ==D
I dont think i can fit in my pants anymore. my left leg is still swollen.
Or maybe i got fatter. Lets hope it's cause i got fatter! ==D

this is freaky.

I've been seeing and hearing things.
Hearing voices outside my bedroom window.
Seeing patches like dark water marks on my laptop screen.
Hearing a faint sound of a typical alarm clock that goes 'kringg~' when I was taking a shower.
There's no such alarm clock or device in my house.

What's wrong with me?

tired.

I'm tired.
So very tired.
Tired of planning. Tired of running. Tired of hiding. Tired of lying. Tired of everyday activities. Tired of everyday conversations. Tired of everyday thoughts.
Tired physically. Tired mentally.
My brain is tired. My eyes are tired. My arms are tired. My legs cant move. My back is sore. My knee is numb, and painful on the inside. And somehow, my heart seems tired of pumping itself.
It's the tiredness nobody could understand unless it really happens to them.

I would kill myself for a cozy cuddle around warm fire, watching a movie and falling asleep... and never wake up.
Never, ever, want to wake up again.

stupid ad on fb

Look what I saw while fishing on facebook. Who'd click on this advertisement? =.=
Desperate people these days. pfft.

Short Film

This is a short film called "Sydney in Love" introduced by Yong Xin...it's korean, doesn't have subtitles but just by watching it you'll get what it means...the song is really nice(it's an english song)

a lil bit of the media world

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are said to be engaged. Hmmm... at this age?
this picture looks so... fairy tale like. its so nice, i want a pic like this too! ==(

Just because of Hollywood celebs like Paris Hilton, animal shelters in the States are now filled with abandoned Chihuahuas! Cause everybody thinks that it's another new fashion statement to carry a Chihuahua where ever they go. When they finally realize its not easy taking care of dogs, they abandon them at animal shelters. wth! These are dogs. Not toys or handbags! They carry it around just to look like Paris Hilton, and not cause they want a dog?
Blond bimbos. Ish!

Anddddddd..... this clip of Gossip Girl's Jenny Humphrey escaping paparazis, is so coooool!


Source: Galaxieblog.com

Anyways, did you know that you cant say "toy boat" very fast, and for a lot of times?
It'll turn into toy bot or something. lol...

QuizBox Test

Saw this on Jason and Jovy's blog. And got curious. ==p
If you're curious too, click here for it.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I'd say 80 to 90% is true. Or that I think it is. hmm....

shut the hell up and please dont brag.

If you can afford an expensive piece of clothing, keep the extra info and DONT FREAKIN SHOW OFF.
If your boyfriend baked you a cake, keep it to yourself and DONT FREAKIN SHOW OFF.
If somebody compliments you, politely say thanks and DONT FREAKIN SHOW OFF.
If somebody gave you something, share but DONT FREAKIN SHOW OFF.
If you have 2 A's short to getting straight A's, DONT FREAKIN SHOW IT OFF and dont say "i have REALLY bad results" to the others who are 2 A's short to getting no A's.
If you have money, DONT FREAKIN SHOW IT OFF and say "i dont like my life right now cause it revolves around diamonds and pearls" to those who are so in need of money.

Or better still, just shut the hell up and count your blessings.

I know there was a post on jealousy a few posts back. But this has got nothing to do with jealousy. I would prefer to talk to a person who is humble and doesnt brag about the medals he won in beijing, the diamonds she fished from the boyfriend, the compliments he got from friends and judges. Cause the world aint all about you.

These days im super cranky. So dont freakin step on my tail.

Sheesh!

And when im not cranky, I spend my hours crying. So shut up and love your life cause you aint living your life like mine.

Happy hospital

Check this out.
Tanjung Rambutan is actually on wiki!! And in different languages! Hahahahhaha!!
Plus, it's actually called Hospital Bahagia. Happy hospital! ==D
forgive me for being really sampat, but I really didnt know! lol...
can we think of something to add in it, please please please please pweaseeeee? rofl...

>>English version<<

>>Malay version<<

Things that i cant do with an injured (healing) left knee.

1. Pee properly in a public toilet.
   i have to pee real fast or my right leg gets tired, and i cant use the squat toilet, it has to be the sitting one.
   
2. Paint my left toe nails.
3. Cross my legs when i sit.
   I love to sit that way! ==(
4. Stand properly.
   I have to place my whole body weigh on my right leg and it gets tired easily.
   
5. Walk properly.
   Everybody is staring at me like im some zombie! DO NOT stare at poeple. its so freakin rude.
   
6. Wear short skirts.
7. Wear my jeans.
   my jeans are all tight ones, cant have it pressing on my wound ==(
8. Walk from Old Town to Kenny Rogers in Queensbay Mall.
   oww oww oww oww....
9. Exercise.
   I miss mother nature so much! my sweat glands needs to move it move it.
10. Feel a patch arounf my left knee cap.
    It's numb and i believe i have lost my sense nerves around there.
    
11. Help around the house.
    Sorry mom ==(
12. Hit my left knee just to see it jerk upwards, natural reflexes.
    
13. Sleep with my favourite sleeping pose.
    
14. Shower for a very long time.
15. Fish between chores and movies.
    cause i cant walk in and out all the time!
16. Carry a lot of things at the same time.
    i lose balance.
17. Go shopping.
18. Go cycling.
19. Chase my dog around the house.
20. Drive.
    
21. Jump when i see a tarzan rope hangin down a big old tree.
    
22. Jump around when i'm really really nervous for the speech tonight.
    jumping makes me feel better when i'm nervous. ==(
23. etc etc. lol
    

AND I HAVE A FAT LEFT LEG!! ==( its stil swollen.
i do want to be fat but not the swollen way.

random post

Seriously, people should consider opening restaurants or something that opens throughout the night for late sleepers, i bet they can earn a lot, why don't they SEEEEE that....jeez...

Gonna start experimenting on my own bubble tea recipes!!!! kekekeke.....



"The crown....something that the powerless people can't touch, something that the powerless can't grasp, something that the powerless can't take away" - quote Eyeshield 21 chapter 320

Damn this sentence sounds so powerful, full of confidence, i don't have other words to describe it for now...will add more when i think of some...haha

World Earth Day

Saw this on tv just now. Decided to blog about it.

Let's fight GLOBAL WARMING together!

March 28th 2009
Saturday 8.30 - 9.30 pm

Sign up here. Please please sign up.
One makes a whole lot of a difference if everybody thinks the same way.
For those in Australia and the States, check for the time on the website.
Set a reminder in your handphones people!
And FREAKIN TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS N ALL ELECTRONICS on that hours. ==)
Then you can see the whole world turn blank for 1 hour. whee! how cool is that.
That is, if the entire world supports and loves the earth as much as we earth lovers do.
>>CLICK<<

Jealousy.

Jealousy is a very strong word, or so I've learned from past experiences and the stories I've heard. A much stronger word compared to envy, jealousy often leads to hatred. Too much of the dose leads to poison. But if course a few doses are still considered healthy, I mean, seriously, who has not been jealous at somebody (or something!) at certain points in their lives? Not all jealousy leads to hatred. Poison only when it's overdosed.

Today, status is much more important than it used to be, people are competitive and you feel the pressure, when a friend shares a few details too much on how she manage to shed 5 kgs in 2 weeks, and you're still a size L no matter how much homework you did counting all the calories in every meal.

What adds vinegar to the lemon juice, is our heighten level of brand awareness. It may not bother you if your manager brings a new Prada purse to work. But if you're only 20 and your classmate flashes the 5 platinum and gold cards in her purse, hinting the new Gucci heels capable of elevating her 4 inches higher (from her actual height), jealousy hits.

It may not bother you at all if an acquaintance or someone older has something that you don't. But if it's someone of you own level, be it a friend or a colleague, it can be harder to take. You feel somewhat inferior, you feel you deserve the same amount of things. Jealousy hits.

Most of the time, jealousy seeps unknowingly from insecurity. I mean, the employee of the month won't be jealous of his colleague who just tapped down 5 sales in 1 go, would he? At least not for that particular month. Jealous because your boyfriend watched a movie with some female friend? You know you totally trust him. But somewhere at the back of your head, those few brain cells of yours just can't block out the ugly thoughts that says he might dump you for her. It sounded like a movie date to you, might be the first of the many dates to come. You were afraid you're no longer the one and only girl in his eyes, afraid that you're no longer your boyfriend's girlfriend. Jealousy hits. At times, jealousy doesn't come from not trusting the guy, it comes from not trusting yourself, you think that girl is somewhat prettier, smarter - better.

People tend to compare themselves with others, consciously or subconsciously. The results often trigger their self esteem. It also has a lot to do with what people actually want in life - satisfaction and goals in life.
What does a kid want? Or what does your kid want? A little girl can only be jealous of her friend who has a Barbie doll and she doesn't. But what if she likes to play with toy cars and trucks instead? She won't be jealous at all.
What does a teenage child want? Or what doesn't your teenage child want? Normally to fit in the groups among his peers. He has to smoke because everybody smokes, and he thinks being seen walking with his parents in a shopping mall makes him look like a momma's boy. What to be jealous about? The macho buffed guy who smokes and gets the girls' attention. He thinks he's cool he shops for his own clothes, not bought by mom.
What does a girlfriend want? Or what does your girlfriend want? Normally security and protection? Or she wants you to pay for all her meals, movies and expects flowers and presents every month?
What does a retired old man want? What does your dad want? Some are jealous at the neighbour, because his son didn't fail his subjects and graduated from a proper university. Some are jealous of the niece who just delivered a baby and their daughter is a 40 year old successful corporate businesswoman - who is still single. Some took out their EPF money for the son to study, and he never came back, and nobody wants to hire a 70 year old man with stroke.
It all bounces back to what makes you happy and what satisfies you. And we all know, in some cases, $100 k in a bank is never enough.

If i were to share my real life experience? Back in high school, there was this girl in class, bragging on her boyfriend. He bought her 2 cell phones. Always took the premiere class movie seats, never the normal seats. Paid for all the expensive crabs, muscles, prawns and squids. Bought her traveling to some countries, all expenses on him. And my boyfriend at that time? Doesn't really respect me, and even asked me to fetch him out and pay for his meal! I don't really like seafood, nor fancy being in premiere class seats. But was i jealous? Yes. Part of me wanted to just shut her up, but the other part says she didn't do anything wrong, it's not right to be mad. But obviously the jealous half was heavier. It didn't lead to hatred. I don't hate her. I just have to get over it. It wasn't because she was showered with expensive stuff. It was because I feel like I've been mistreated and that i deserve more than this. The problem was on my side, not on her side even if she likes to brag. I didn't get any of those listed above, when I was with my 4th boyfriend. Even when she bragged about the same few things, it doesn't bother me because I don't want premiere seats, I don't want to eat expensive foods, I don't want or need a new handphone. But I didnt feel mistreated. I was really content. Nothing else matters.

Real life experience number 2? I've always thought that the reason why my sister hates me, is because that she is jealous of me. And somehow I still think that way. Many years ago she once said this to me, "I don't even even get to go out when i was 14." I was 14, she was 17. Dad bought 2 watches, one for me and one for her. Fair enough? And she said "i don't even get a watch when i was 12". I was 12, she was 15. 2 years ago, I passed my driver's license, n sis got a job. Dad bought a new car so she drove the old car to work everyday, mom drove the new car. Fair enough? When mom's not using it, I drove out to college once in a while and sis said "when I passed my driver's license, all I get to drive is this old car. Why does SHE get to drive the new car to college?" What should I do as a younger sister? I really have no idea. For her to drive the new car to work everyday while mom drives the old car, and I drive when mom's not using the car?

Jealousy isn't really a familiar friend of mine. For all the jealousy I have once had on others, none of them had even a teeney bit of hatred in them. All was from insecurity. Some, from what i figured I should do to get even with her - my sister.

If you know there's lousy in jeaLOUSY, try... please try not to subject it to others. You can share private details with others, but tell people things based on their own situation. For example, if you wanna share the news of your boyfriend giving you the best birthday ever, share it with the one who has a boyfriend of many years, not the single ones who might get depressed over not being able to even nail a guy down, not to say have a birthday party thrown. Dying to tell someone about your promotion? Call up your uber-successful cousin. When someone feels secure about the subject matter, they won't be jealous.
Another tip, is to try and be humble, don't sound like a show off. Compliments work too. When you tell a friend (who you know can never afford it) about a pricey new dress, mention that she could borrow it from you for prom night, or how great it'll look on her.

Even the bestest friend can be jealous of each other. The movie Bride Wars proves it.

Treat your waitresses nicer and with a smile

Some people might remember me telling them about the thingy with my favourite restaurant and the waitress, you know the extra rice when I told her I was hungry thingy...yup....it happened again just a different waitress this time....

So I was on my way to uni around lunch time and had to grab something to eat....guess where and what popped into my mind ==) Jajang myuen (Korean food) at my fav restaurant!!!!!
Headed along the ever busy and familiar Liverpool Street, down the small alley where it is located....had a growing anticipation for the food and also to see if anything has changed at the place, but to my delight nothing has, not the setting, not a single wine bottle out of place and those comfy cushions all still there!!!

The first thought was if the "sajang-nim" (boss) is in or not, 2nd was if the waitress is still the same one ( cause they usually change after around 3 months ).... I would soon find out as i step into the restaurant finding the boss' usual seat empty, the next was the waitress behind the counter....
She was talking to one of the cooks when i stepped into the restaurant, with a vision partially blocked she said her usual greeting (annyong*something* not the word "hi = annyong haseyo" but "welcome" )

The waitress was about to come out from behind the counter to pass me the menu when she leaned back to peer out from behind the counter for the 2nd time, taking another look at me again....This time her eyes flickered with recognition, said something to the cook about me, which I do not understand and was kinda surprised but greeted me with a more familiar friendly smile, maybe it was because I haven't been there for a long time or because my hair is curly now...lol

When the kimchi dishes came, I noticed a new extra plate which I've never seen before...it was in slices, yellow in colour and looked like something sold in a dried fruit store ( ok I don know what I am blabbing about but it's different alright ==P ) I didn't dwell on whether it was purposely given by her or just an extra dish they are serving.....

Another thing was the Jajang myuen...my goodness it was like 3 large packets of laksa or maybe more in one bowl....my stomach felt suddenly full, but I finished it anyway cause it's nice and not good to waste...hehe....before I actually finished my noodles she took out two small round thing on a plate for me, I was surprised as I did not order anything else (it was plums) and I thought to myself, wow now they are serving fruits for dessert...hahaha.....till I saw the other 3 tables and noticed they have one less kimchi dish and NO plums (saw her giving plums to her friends that came to look for her, plums might be her own, not from the restaurant)....making me suspect that she even added more noodles for me...lol

See...what did I tell you, treat the waitresses nicer, have a familiar place you go to, and you'll definitely get something out of it ==D Even if it's only for this time, I am happy, enough to make my day....I didn't forget to thank her and asked her to say hi to the boss for me before i left... ==D

Paradise - by Memory

I'll just let you decide for yourself... ==)

B2B - Back to Blogging

It's been a loooong while since I've posted anything up, i know it's my fault I've been lazy but now that I am back in Sydney well posts from me will come a lot more frequently....Sorry....

Spent a really extremely long holiday back in Penang, it's been so nice and relaxing that i didn't feel like coming back to the Land Down Under...Lots of slacking but it's been eventful, met lots of my primary school friends again and new interesting people at the same time....

It's always great meeting former Bing Hwa mates, even though we didn't used to know each other or wasn't really close it always feels nice seeing another person back from primary school...

Though I've been dreading to come back, somehow the hot sun and cool wind feels nice and familiar...feels....homey....
The creaking of the elavator and the "ge-dung" sound it makes when it reacahes the destination reminded me of home in Aaustralia...
Not much has changed in the past 3 months...soon I'll be back to the normal routine here in Aus...but hopefully with much more purpose....
Oh and i missed my Annie...always watching over me with a smile while I am sleeping ==)

Thanx to everyone for the awesome holiday....For those who lost ang pau money to me, those who treataed me, those who drove me, those who dota-ed with me, those who have always been by my side....THANX.....

PS : Take care Paul when you go overr to Japan....Wern n Yao Jie, save money for Japan!!!!