Lame joke post

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It had no guts.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What did frosty say to his wife on their honey moon?
Quickly quickly before the friction melts it!!! (ok i know this sounds a lil wrong but hey we are all adults now ==D)

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

Why did Irish need 100 people to change a bulb?
because they needed 1 person to hold the bulb, and the rest to turn and spin the house

How many Irish men does it take to change a light bulb?
101, 1 to hold the light and 100 to drink until the room spins! (note : Irish people drink A LOT)


There were 2 brothers who were very wealthy, but were also as wicked as can be. The committed every sort of vice that you could name, murder, drug abuse, extortion, womanizing, adultery, you name it they did it. Due to their connections, they never got into any serious trouble.
One day however, the younger brother died suddenly of a heart attack. The older brother arranged for a very elaborate funeral, the guest list numbered over a thousand, with several prominent figures of society to boot. To give a good impression of the event and of his family name, he tried to make a deal with the priest. The deal was this: "In your eulogy, you must mention that my brother is a saint."
The priest initially denied the request as it was very clear that the dead man was no saint. However, after much pressure from the brother (which included threats), the priest agreed to the proposal.
On the day of the funeral itself, the priest gave his eulogy to an audience of over 1000 important members of society. This is what he said: "As you all are aware, this man committed every possible vice you can imagine when he was alive, he was truly one of the most wicked people around, a scum of the earth. But compared to his brother here, he is a saint."
(not really a joke just a damn smart priest)


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

==D some of them are lame but who cares!!!!!