i dont have a title for this post

i've been so busy lately. life at Studeo Grafix aint the life i want right now. i might want a life like that if im single and that i dont have a family with me now. i see collegues there, they are really happy and fun. out of the whle big company, only 1 had kids. 2 just got married. the rest are all singlers with just a quarter of them not-married single. the others? single-singlers. yeah i called those with a bf or a gf singlers too cause u know, when you're filling up a form, theres only 2 choices. married or single. hahaha... sorry cubby, don mean to call myself single but yeah im one of the quarter of the not-married singlers there. okay back to the people there, they are happy, really happy cause they spend their life at work everyday, hanging out having fun with collegues, it felt like its just another hang out doing projects. they dont have to worry about not spending time with anybody else, dont hav to worry about not eating at the right time, don have to worry about not cooking and eating outside oily cholesterolly food. they life with housemates they dont know and all they do is slp right after they got home. that's not too bad. that is, if you dont have your loved ones near you.

liang's aslp now. tired with all those birthday celebrations. its a very good thing. just that its on a weekend, the only time when i can spend more online hrs at home. getting home at 8 or 9 at night is realyl tiring. everybdy knows me! i cant live without slp and food! u know during my interview for studeo grafix, i told the interviwer, "i can work, as long as i get enuf slp and enuf food." and yeah i repeated that for quite a few times and she asked me "why are u so worried about for food and sleep?" then i was like.. wait.. i dont remember wat i told her. something like i hav to eat cause if not i'll get gastric. i have to slp if not i cant work or soemthing.

anyway my eating habits has gone out of the railway road. im having gastric pains almost everyday. sometimes i really dont hav time to eat cause i have to meet deadlines, i have my eyes glued on the pc screen from 9 to the time i get to go home. my fingers on the keyboard 95% of the times when my eyes are on the screen. the other 5%? im going round and round in circles on my chair just cause im so bored!! i cant stand boredom. how can people live like that! maybe cause im not used to the job yet. maybe cause i don really like journalism or to write. they claim that my articles arent formal or corporate enough. of course not! i've never been exposed to corporate lettes before. or even corporate profiles and all. all i read is magazines and story books! how corporate can i get? but i'l still try. try hard. cause it isnt that bad if i look on the bright side. that is.. if i look on the bright side. it might also be the reason cause i hav to keep doing amendments to my articles, slight mistakes here and there... 'article too dry'... 'whole paragraph sounded rush. needs tweaking'... 'capital letters here, spacebar there, watch the alignments'... there were alot of clumsy mistakes even after i read throuh my article before i summit. my eyes are always tired. i need protective shades when i look at the pc screen for 10 hrs in a day. sigh... hope i don get some eye tumor or cancer or something, since that my health had always been bad all along.

i write everyday and im still writing now. haha.. i just realised. now that i type so much, i might get really reallllly high marks on the typing skill challenge on facebook. haha....

anyway i dont really know what this post is about. i have 3 days off for my raya holiday. plan to go out with fi and nic. we still owe nic her bday present and bday meal. her bday was more than a month ago. everybody was busy with their internship. i guess this is how our life would be like after we officially graduate and start working. u'll lose all your collegemates, high school mates. childhood mates. cause if liang's here i'll b spending 70% of my free time with him. 25% with my parents. leaving 5% for..? my own personal private time? orr time with my girlfriends? i dont really know. oh no... im starting to miss everybody around me already. soon everybody will start to work. i might lose my girlfriends. they might lose me. and we have to find raya or deepavali holidays to hang out! ==( good thing this is a multiracial country. can make use of te raya and deepa holidays. our country could use more races with more holidays. but it might add more trouble to malaysia's political world. everybody wants a slice of the gov pie. sigh...

mayb im thinkin too much lately. there are alot of things lurking in my mind. this might sound silly but when i saw in the web cam yesterday when liang's friends were there with him to celebrate his birthday. i was jealous. i saw everybody and im jealous. very jealous. im happy that he's happy. that he has such nice friends to celebrate with him. it was my idea. but im still jealous. jealous of the poeple there, simply because they are in sydney, and im not. they got a piece of the celebration. i want one too ==( i might b goin to sydney too... soon, but not now. then i was thinkin to myself.. i must be jealous of the thousands and thousands of people living in sydney now. yes. i am. silly eh? just a thought. lurking slowly in my mind. somehow its not lurking towards the exit sign right at the corner of my mind.

this is a really long post. people might not read alot. anyway i should be in bed soon. i wouldnt get enough sleep during the weekdays. i should sleep early during weekends.

they are going to have a meeting/gathering at the end of next week. and im expected to stand out and say something. for sure they will be asking me things like "how do u find studeo grafix so far?"
"do u like working here?"
"how do u find the work here? hard to cope?"
"are you happy wokring here?"
and all that sort of a thing. and yay! im so so not prepared for the answers. i dont know wat to tell them! take note that it would be in front of everybody from the whole company. and im the first ever intern in studeo grafix. first and the only one.

i should be going off to bed. my face looks ugly from the tiny swollen bumps i had after yesterday's facial treatment. i have a lot of fat lumps below my eyes cause of my cholesterol. liang has alot too. have to control what u eat dear... the pics on today's newspaper is really scary. i wouldnt want fat lumps like that even when im old. i'd have to do plastic surgery to have it removed.

sigh.. there still are things lurking in my mind. the tired guards are petrolling my brain cells, making me use wired words as i type. chasing the tiny particles in my brain to sleep in my brain cells.locking them up in brain cells. i dont know what im typing. good night...