Feelings

Another half day has gone by, just like yesterday, the day seems a lil darker, the air a lil denser, my arms a lil heavier, even as i sit on this chair my back is hunched, my stomach still feeling empty even though i ate 2 hours ago...as the readings doesn't seem to be going into my brain, i decide its best to take a break and continue watching the anime i was watching.

Last episode was a happy one despite it being a sad one for the past few episodes. The ending song that sounded so sad 3 episodes ago, even sounds more lovey happy tune at the end of this episode even though it's the same song.

I feel water on my cheeks, it feels warm in this cold day, where is it from??? Ahh, my vision is blurring...It feels harder to breathe, is it the blocked nose? or is it this tightening feeling in my chest?

Is it because of the anime? Or the imagination playing in my head? The thought of losing a loved one? Or is it because today just feels a lil empty and dull?

I can't bring myself to imagine the day where i walk through queensbay mall without holding your hand...
Not sitting by the beach eating dinner together...
Not standing outside your garden looking at stars...
Not eating at sakae sushi, filling my cup with hot water without you saying "i'll do it, you'll surely spill..."
Not having your favourite laksa after going for a hike...
Or just hanging around at home, talking, planning for the day or tommorrow or the day after...
I haven't been able to do any of that for the past 3 months, how much more torturous can life be without you by myside...walking around this streets that doesn't have your memory is worse, eating alone seems meaningless...

Until i get to wake up to the melody of your voice again, see your radiant smile again, walk side by side with you again, just spend my day with you doing nothing...
Baby...work hard...study hard...play hard...laugh and smile hard too ==) "JIA YOU O"...just take care of yourself, your health and know that a few thousand miles away there's a person longing to see you again, to feel you again, crying for you, with you, laughing because of you, enduring these torturous seconds without you for a simple reason, "i love you"...

*lets out a long sigh*..........more like a sigh of relief that another half day has passed by till our reunion, another half day less till i can be in your arms again....


Thank you baby...from the bottom of my heart, for the feeling that i remember so vividly, the feeling you gave me a few months ago, the feeling i still feel so strongly now, the feeling which would definitely bring me smiles as we look back after years together...a feeling that i cannot express accurately..."love" doesn't really say it all, there's happiness, blissfulness, a feeling that makes you sigh from the comfort, the feeling that makes times fly by when you are around that special someone, the feeling that makes everything easier to bear...


PS : When something is bothering you, when you feel like something is missing, troubling you, saddening you...*holds your hand* i will be there to clear it, erase it, replace it, or if there's nothing i can do to help, know that i'll at least be there to put your smile back on your face.
muacks muacks love you...
Hmmm...maybe the word "love" does say it all... ==)